Our top-tier chronological scientists have been working round the clock to … round out the clock, as it were. While these discrepancies in the calendar are mostly undetectable to lay-persons, factors such as the rotation in the earth and variations in the chip-sets of smart watches have made it necessary to alter the fabric of time itself, and to pass the savings onto you.
Firstly, Christmas has been moved and extended to July 23-31, 2015. (Our calculations have determined that it’s impossible for one man with even nine tiny reindeer to deliver presents to all the world in anything less than 170 hours.) To subsidize any economic inconvenience you may suffer, Sanguine Games and DriveThruRPG are working together with the Christmas in July sale. Save 15% to 25% on Sanguine titles and other fine books. Click here to see the sales listings.
Secondly, our scientists have determined that even though the record sales of Ironclaw merchandise at Anthrocon this month might look like good news … the growing demand started a “butterfly chain” that will cause an “eschatonic apocalypse” which has “levels of alarmism beyond all comprehension.” We urge you to not travel back in time to shoot your own grandfather. Don’t get mad at him, things were different then. Instead, you can click on this link to order the Ironclaw Omnibus at reduced pricing, just like those salad days of yore.
These sales will only last until July 31st, so act quickly. With your help, we can make a better tomorrow before it even happens. Thank you.